Pains

I've learnt to cry in secrete cause the world doesn't know my pain. She can never understand it.
I was happy then a tide of sadness swept in. Like a tsunami I was taken away. Engulfed in the pain I didn't understand. Ripped off of the immense joy I felt, layer by layer.
That's the thing with depression. You won't know where she comes from. A shadow hoovering on your shoulders.  She is a deep darkness that grasps your soul and refuses to let go until she totally has you.
Smiling becomes a burden. It becomes estranged in a nano-second. Your system shuts down to your surrounding, lost in a world that doesn't exist. Calculating mystical concepts. Over thinking!
What can save?
I look up to the heavens above. I see a drop of sunshine. I search His word, there I find my ray of hope.
In His presence there is fullness of Joy and at His right hand are pleasures forever more.
Lord deliver my soul from depression, may my soul be joyful in you, may it shall rejoice in the salvation you have offered. This I pray thee.
Wash away my pains till they are no more.

-Jayb