Beauty in Distress

Birds singing, Waves crashing, Amidst all this noise I still here your voice. "Love yourself first"

Your lips sing the lullaby my ears refuse to hear, the beat my heart yearns, with lyrics my brain cannot comprehend. There is strength in needing others not weakness. Sing on I beg, I need a voice my emotions can recognise.                                                  -JayB

Your life is a book you are writing, so go on and make the next pages special.

Love can sometimes be magic But sometimes magic can be just an illusion

It's not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it's the smile we fake.

He grabbed her by the throat but didn't choke her, just kissed her so deep she forgot who's air she was breathing. Bryce Bieniek

Setting our hearts at the edge of our souls; fleetingly yet intensely, a fragment of eternity has come to enrich  time. 

If you want to heal Heal others And smile or weep At this happy reversal of fate

I hate the skin I walk in. There are more to these words than race.  Let me introduce you to my world, our world. The world of imperfection. When I walk I feel the stares of disdain. The scars that mark my body are a curse which I will have to bare till the day I will die. Never sure if a man feels pity for my alienated skin. Children look at me like I’m a lab rat some are too scared to touch, much less look. Perhaps I am because God let my so precious skin be removed from me so painfully. Try imagining taking a bath and feel your skin wash away. I can’t wear anything that shows off my skin. I am as hairy as a monkey. It’s ok for a man but a lady no, my genetics betrayed me. I can’t help but wonder what a hairy woman was thinking marrying a hairy man. It is like knowing you are both of genotype SS and still going ahead to do it. Human blanket was the nickname I was forced to adopt. Try smiling when a man tells you he should be afraid of you because you have progressive male hor...

Like a spell cast upon her tongue she could never bring herself to say yes. So many suitors come and gone. She was afraid of what. Unsure of whom. Fairy tales  parading her head sometimes way too close to reality for her touch. Whispers of a broken heart bound to occur hunt her.  A penny for your thought they would ask. She would shake her head ever so violently; there is nothing on my mind. Lies upon lies, there was always something on her mind but her tongue could not comprehend her thoughts. Her heart saturated with the black from her mind it was no longer cherry red but ox-blood red soon to be dead blood. With the tips of her finger she would try to spell in the sand, to write out her heart, but before she could put in the final piece to the puzzle, before she could write the final word to her lover the ocean waves came and washed her story away. She was the turbulence that disrupted her thoughts. None other than her had cast this spell.    ...

Have you ever looked at someone you’ve known for so long and realize you don’t even know each other anymore? Relative strangers staring eyeball to eyeball, trying to reconnect the dots to a beautiful pattern that once existed, friendship. I can’t help but wonder can lost love ever be rekindled? Two estranged lovers trying not to find the joy of each other’s company. Allowing hurts dictate their steps, allowing it guide their emotions, trying to prove a point. We are actually the only ones standing between ourselves a d happiness. I prompt you, take a look at the mirror for ten minutes and watch you see yourself thrust into a history. Thrown into an oblivion in which you no longer exist. See your features transform into that of a stranger. You will realize, you don’t know yourself. In fact you never did. You were only a shadow figure pouncing about trying to be you. And those frown lines are the struggles of your inner beast trying to get out. As I look into the eyes of my many love...

Something to make you smile for today.

FATHER  MOTHE R

You go on and on about the sacrifices you have made for me but the last time i checked it was a sacrifice and I am not obligated to pay you back, I am to be grateful for it but that doesn't also mean you will dictate to me how I am to be grateful either. Dear Parent, the day you decided to have me you signed the deed to "Unlimited Sacrifices."Children were never begged to be conceived. When the time is right without doubt you will reap from your sacrificial seeds, but you can't tell the seed when to germinate or bring forth fruit. Be patient and give me room to breathe.

there is immense power in the little things we do. just putting a smile on someones face each day can change the world.

All my life I've been with you, grew up with you but all of a sudden all the time we've spent together isnt enough. i feel the need for a glance or one too many to spot the difference. In shock I wonder about gazing longer than a stare.                                                                                                                               -Elle

Our better days are ahead, buts he doesn't hear. The dog has tired us in circles. We chose this leg, said we could stomach the foaming, the mean streak, said something about not minding the cold. And isn't that just like us? I heard of a girl who set out to bury her brother, found she couldn't lift him, so lifted a knife to her body instead. It isn't the same thing at all. Now two bodies uninterred. -Erica Wright

I am sincerely sorry about the delays in my posts. I have been experiencing some serious technical issues. To all my faithful fans please bare with me till I sort out the problem. Nonetheless as soon as I can post I will. till then remain blessed.                                                                                                                     -JayB

Your skin is beautiful.

False Evidence Appearing Real. 2 Timothy 1:7, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. This were just words to me. I never really understood it, it meant nothing to me. Just another Sunday school verse. I feared night, I feared day. I feared death I feared life. A shadow of myself I wasn't living. Misconceptions of religion had me bound. His grace eluded me. I knew Him yet I didn't know him, he was just an estranged lover. Someone taught to children with feeble minds that needed a perfect epitome of love. I didn't understand his love so deep. Or all that he gave and made available for me on the cross of calvary. For this reason, fear had my soul, tortured my mind, dented my persona. With time depression creeped in because I was living in regret. Regretting that I hadn't truly lived in his grace, done the exploits I was meant to have done or over come the hurdles in front of me. I would cry and say I would do...

They say if you stare into the water long enough it will start to call you. The same way if you refuse to step out of your comfort zone you will never have lived. Trying to find mistakes in the tiles I got lost in the water. Looking more inviting than ever, she started to call me. I'm thinking about life. About the things we were made to believe as children. Logical reasoning says to question everything till valid proof is laid. So, is the truth really the truth? We were all imprinted on believe it or not. Those who raised us marked their beliefs on and in us, engraved on our hearts. It's what has given us character our identity. But as we grow we start to question everyone of them, but sentiments doesn't really allow us to drop some of them. I'm not sure whether the lyrics flow, I don't think I'm even consistent. The message is really this. When you start to find your way, to restructure your mind, insanity is near, right besides depression because not ev...

I've learnt to cry in secrete cause the world doesn't know my pain. She can never understand it. I was happy then a tide of sadness swept in. Like a tsunami I was taken away. Engulfed in the pain I didn't understand. Ripped off of the immense joy I felt, layer by layer. That's the thing with depression. You won't know where she comes from. A shadow hoovering on your shoulders.  She is a deep darkness that grasps your soul and refuses to let go until she totally has you. Smiling becomes a burden. It becomes estranged in a nano-second. Your system shuts down to your surrounding, lost in a world that doesn't exist. Calculating mystical concepts. Over thinking! What can save? I look up to the heavens above. I see a drop of sunshine. I search His word, there I find my ray of hope. In His presence there is fullness of Joy and at His right hand are pleasures forever more. Lord deliver my soul from depression, may my soul be joyful in you, may it shall rejoice in...

 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help  My help cometh from the Lord , which made heaven and earth  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.           - A Psalm

Colour Blindness What does beauty look like when it is felt and not seen? When the blind to see it in their dreams. When the beauty resonates in the ears of the deaf. When it is the screams of the dumb. When it re-instates sanity to the psychotic. To redefine the very essence of beauty, I go on a quest to find the true treasures hidden within. This coat of arms on our face has robbed us of the definition of beauty. Defining our relations by the brand of their lipstick or is it the type? The contouring on our faces has truly made our character rigid. Please someone define all this madness to me, this madness my generation as agreed to live in. This madness that has redefined our existence. We live in a world where our eyebrows are sponsored my the Nike logo. How is this even possible. Should class really be defined by the material we wear or by my approach to humanity? I refuse to conform to the world. I refuse to be the concept of the colours on my face.  I'm stepp...

Life is a journey. You won't enjoy all the scenery if you keep thinking of  one's you didn't appreciate. Stop regretting, it's only memories made and lessons learnt.

  You see her as just an item of Sexual pleasure. Scratching only the surface forgetting there is a beating heart underneath. Just like yours but perhaps more pure. Her soul impatiently waiting to be discovered. A true beauty underneath the 'curves and humps'. She was a museum full of art but you have your eyes shut. 'Importing' her into parties just so she can entertain you. Never having a variety of conversations with her. Fixing her into the stereotype her of 'dumb' just because of her beauty. "That's the thing about stereotypes, it's not that they are untrue but they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story." Chimamanda Adiche You are too lazy to search for the other stories. There are three sides of every story, the third is yours. But she won't blame you. The girls you've come across have left this impression on you. A sour taste in your mouth. I put it to you to rearrange your prejudice. Tell each sto...

We all know that Jesus is coming. A lot of people say soon, to be honest I do know how soon. But I do know whether I'm a love or dead when he comes, I still want him to be proud of me. I refuse to step on the cross, taking advantage of the love he has for me. The one true love I have ever known. The one true love humanity has ever known and will ever know. I mean think about it. A heavenly being tripped so hard for you, thought you worthy to live his heavenly abode and power to die as a mere man just to reconcile you back to God. Him (he is part of the trinity.) Not only did he reconcile you but he also gave us power to be called sons of God. The book of Revelations 5:12 says he gave us power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing. If that's not love I don't know what is. And quite frankly that's the only love I choose believe in. Think about it.  I dare you to fall in love with this heavenly being. With arms made strong from car...

What if it was supposed to be What-if perfect isn't real And Ive just let go of what is. What-if everything my head perceives Isn't all that it's supposed to be. Well I guess we'll never know My heart will all and let you go. What if your hand is still held out to hold my heart for just once more What if the sun won't stare down At my life no more and darkness glooms because US is NO MORE. Well I guess I'll learn to live with it because My heart will all but to you hold on.  What if my tears don't stop And the salty stream in my soul goes on and on. What-if my smile is forever fake Because within I'm a gloomy lake Still I won't turn back to who I was; Foolishly holding up a love lantern that long ago burnt out I'll Iift my own spirits and hold my own hand Pat myself on the back and take my deserving self out. I won't need your voice in the night Nor your face in the morning Won't be bound by your spell's. Or ...

I love the Lord , because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the Lord ; O Lord , I beseech thee, deliver my soul.  Gracious is the Lord , and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.  I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted: I said in my haste,  All men are liars. What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord . I will pay my vows unto ...

Time is not on our side. We drift away with each tic of the clock. Our memories fading away with each dawn of the sun. Loosing you to the shadows we were running from.    You were chasing me and not running so the shadows consumed you. I left a taste in your mouth that you can never forget. So sour sweet.  No matter how many oceans you cross. How.many valleys and mountains you pass. No one can be like me and we both know that. I'm Contagious. A narcotic drug you keep feeding on. I am the strong energy that has grasped your heart. You were bleeding in my silence, my grasp so fatal. Anything to be near me, you forgot your importance.  I was that perfect person. I was the warp in your personality that you refused to notice.  I was the beautiful problem you never solved. You just sat and steered. Feeling you owned me. But you were wrong. When the mist came we danced around. With confidence you felt me dancing with you. But I was gone...

Daddy's Little Girl 2 Hell has no fury like a woman who hath been scorn. I have been scorned of a father by a father. May my fire rain down on you like brimstone.  You left me without love and so I thought that perhaps the paradise between my legs would bring men to love me. Perhaps it's my only worth. That's what they always wanted. That's why night after night he came into me, he was not the only one he was just the first.  What I feel is too different from what is real, I fill my self up with narcotic drug anything to take this pain away. Reality is stranger than my dreams.   I know what in have gone through to get over you. I've been through hell. I lived in it daily. Breathing the fumes that consumed me. I saw an open door but never stepped out. Dancing in the flames. Cherishing the burns more than my own life. I let it define me! But a saving grace so strong rescued me. It grabbed me. Mercy said no. And I screamed and yelled to go back t...

From Dusk to Dawn  Watching the moon dethrone the sun with my lover turned stranger Even when we both at war we somehow find a way to watch the light go dim as the sun travels west  There's something different about the colour of the sunset today Even as ugly as things seem between us today we still admire the beauty of the purple dusk.  The way the colours draw life from each other you bring the best colours out of me. You have no idea the way you light up my inside. From dusk to dawn you dance like smoke in my mind You are a star. And like a black hole I'm drawn into you. But can your heart truly be mine. When I reach for you, you disappeared. Like the sun loves the moon but can never have her you my love are a relative stranger. The whole essence of love redefined by the skies.  Lazughi & JayB